Happiness and Readiness to Learn
This Section Introduces Attachment Theory and Begins to Investigate the Effects of Trauma and Loss on Mental Health, Well-being, Learning, and Behavior. It Contains Practical Ideas for Promoting All Children and Adolescents' Well-being and Emotional Health.

What Is the Significance of This Section?
Even if these new relationships are with secure and supportive people, the experience of attachment difficulties, trauma, and loss can have long-term repercussions on mental health and well-being, as well as how children and young people relate to others. This can have a negative impact on their capacity to participate in learning. When attempting to accelerate development and increase attainment for looked after and formerly looked after children, Designated Teachers must push knowledge of the necessity of identifying these challenges and responding to them effectively throughout the entire school. Schools that are aware of these challenges can positively influence the mental health and well-being of all students, as well as the overall well-being of the school community.
The theories presented here are complicated, and support for each child will be unique. However, this part will introduce you to some of the fundamentals; for more specialized assistance, please see our Resources, Agencies, and Partners page and our Emotion Coaching section.
An Overview of Attachment Styles and Their Effects on Learning and Behavior
The term attachment refers to an infant's relationship with their primary caregiver (s). The attachment relationship is a long-lasting caring link that physically and emotionally unites the infant with their caregiver(s) (Bowlby 1969). The attachment bond is formed when caregivers respond effectively to a baby's or child's needs. When a baby screams, for example, caregivers comfort the baby, feed or change their nappy, and hold them. The caregiver meets the baby's physical and emotional requirements. As the baby grows bigger and begins to crawl or walk, they should perceive their caregiver as a "safe base" from which they can explore their surroundings. If the baby becomes distressed, they return to their caregiver for emotional support. They can then leave their secure stronghold and learn more about their surroundings.
Bowlby proposed that early interactions between an infant and a caregiver formed the child's "internal working models." These models shape the child's perceptions of themselves ("are I loveable?"), others ("are other people reliable, and do they meet my needs?"), and the world ("is the world out there a safe place to explore and learn from?").
Ainsworth and colleagues have since identified four major attachment styles, each with distinct behaviors of both the child and the caregiver. But, first, it is crucial to emphasize that insecure ambivalent and insecure-avoidant children have attachments to their caregivers: up to 40% of school-aged children may have these sorts of insecure attachments:
A kid with a Secure attachment style will boldly explore their surroundings, focusing on activities for extended periods of time and seeking assistance from the caregiver when necessary. The caregiver reacts to the child's demands in an acceptable, warm, and consistent manner, providing comfort and enjoyment.
A child who is insecure Because they are unsure of what response will be offered, people with ambivalent attachment styles are more tentative in their exploration of their world and demand a lot of help from their caregiver. Care providers' responses to the child's needs range from responsive to indifferent.
A child with an Insecure Avoidant attachment style is very cautious when investigating his or her surroundings and seems self-sufficient, yet self-regulation is inadequate. The caregiver's approach is dismissive and consistently unsympathetic to the child's emotional needs. However, they usually respond to physical needs appropriately.
A youngster with a Disorganized attachment style does not explore the surroundings and believes that appealing to the caregiver worsens their pain. As a result, the child's behavior is irregular; they may appear disconnected and aggressive and soothe themselves. The caregiver responds to the child's needs by frightening or frightening the child; they are frequently inattentive and/or abusive, and they may abandon the infant or leave them with strangers.
How Can We Assist? Positive Behavior Promotion Based on Attachment Type
Type of Attachment: Insecure Ambivalent
Internal Organizational Structure
- some ability to trust, relate to others, and self-regulate
- clinging, rejecting, irritated emotions, and moments of poor self-regulation are also present
Typical actions
- constantly talks
- asks seemingly unimportant questions
- requires constant attention from the teacher
- is hostile when dissatisfied
- poor concentration
- fidgeting and constantly rotating around
What is the youngster thinking or feeling
- I feel safer if I do all of the talking
- I want to communicate but don't know how
- if I don't continually remind you that I'm here, you might forget about me and desert me
- I'm frightened of getting things wrong
- negative attention is preferable to no attention
- I cannot rest. I must constantly scan the room for danger
What is the school capable of
- have a routine
- all first tasks should be attainable
- sit the child close to you
- allow the child to wait quietly
- acknowledge the child through both verbal and nonverbal gestures
- give the child something to look after
- give the child responsibility for things (not people)
- give the child something tactile to fiddle with
- use a timer for tasks
- break tasks down into small steps
- laugh with the youngster, even if it is at something foolish
Insecure Avoidant Attachment Type
Internal Organizational Structure
- some faith in physical requirements being addressed
- cautious and self-sufficient
Typical actions
- refuses to help with a job
- destroys property
What is the youngster thinking or feeling
- I must rely solely on myself and no one else.
- I avoid scary situations
- I need to force other children to do what I want
- I don't value anything
- I am uninterested in anything that isn't mine
- I am furious and take it out on things
What is the school capable of
- make use of a buddy system or a 'Circle of Friends.'
- encourage the child to help around the school
- provide partnered or small group works
- request that the youngster assists another who is less able
- recognize the child's sentiments "I see you're upset......"
- assist the child in repairing or restoring where possible
- think about restorative approaches
Type of Attachment: Disorganized
Internal Organizational Structure
- untrustworthy, scared
- perplexed
- angry and despondent.
Typical actions
- refuses to participate in work
- attempts to cause havoc
- oppositional and stubborn
- sexually aggressive
What is the youngster thinking or feeling
- making mistakes is terrifying
- being wrong will result in terrible rejection
- I am chaotic on the inside and feel safer if it is chaotic on the outside
- I must be in control so that I do not get hurt
- I must not be exposed as stupid
- you, like all adults, are horrible
- I know from experience that sex=power and I must be in control
What is the school capable of
- provide options while ensuring that all options are appealing
- make tasks very structured: cloze/multiple-choice/sentence completion
- ensure that all resources required by the child are easily available
- aim to correct only the most significant behavior
- recognize and acknowledge the child's feelings. For example, "I see you're upset......"
- be forceful
- avoid displaying anger, impatience, or fear
- begin each day with a clean slate
- keep detailed records of all incidences and seek assistance from other organizations if needed
Other Signs of Attachment Dysfunction
Typical actions
- refuses to accept praise
- Is incapable of having pleasure
- Is physically or verbally violent - Ignores orders
- sulks
- avoids eye contact
- trouble during breaks and lunch
- lying
- stealing
What is the youngster thinking or feeling
- I don't deserve praise
- you must be stupid if you can't see how bad I am
- when I am scared, I run away, fight, or freeze
- I have too much anxiety about listening or concentrating
- I have no words to describe my feelings
- I am afraid of being rejected by my peers
- I panic in crowds
- I am not sure who I am or what the truth is
- I prefer to make things up how I wish they could be
What is the school capable of
- be specific when giving praise
- consider giving praise in private
- do not threaten removal or rejection: be inclusive "come and sit next to me-while I help the rest of the class"
- 'think out loud' about why the behavior occurred, but don't ask the child to explain, "I wonder if you felt hurt when JJ didn't choose you to be their partner."
- maintain a consistent schedule
- state the session's activity plan explicitly at the start
- allow the youngster to develop lists
- reassure both vocally and nonverbally: smile, thumbs up, etc.
- sit side by side with the youngster
- increase structure and supervision during breaks and lunches - Provide an interior retreat during breaks and lunches
- do not accuse a child of lying; instead, convey the truth or reality simply and concisely
- do not demand that a child apologize; instead, utilize restorative ways and allow the child to rectify the issue where possible
When a Person's Behavior Abruptly Deteriorates
This can occur during special occasions such as Mother's Day, birthdays, religious festivities, and weekends, as well as at regular times.
What the child thinks or feels
- a sad anniversary is approaching
- a new sibling has been born
- I will be contacting my birth family soon
- I have already contacted my biological family (expected or unexpected)
- before or following weekends
What is the school capable of
- be empathetic in your curriculum delivery
- allow the child time and space away from the classroom to deal with feelings
Please remember that this is a very basic introduction to Attachment Theory. The Attachment Research Community (ARC) is a network of schools, settings, trainers, and researchers dedicated to discovering best practices in addressing everyone's attachment needs. It provides schools with specialized training and assistance.
An Overview of Trauma and Its Effects on Learning
Many of the youngsters in care have been traumatized. Typical causes include:
- domestic violence
- the caregiver's drug and/or alcohol addiction. (It's believed this is a problem in two-thirds of all care proceedings)
- the death of a caregiver (death, abandonment, or imprisonment)
- a stressful situation caused by housing or financial issues.
- war or disaster experiences
- an illness of the caregiver (physical or mental health issues)
- child illness could have resulted in protracted separations from their caregiver owing to hospitalization
- neglect or abuse by parents. This is especially devastating because the person who should be providing the child with safety and care is dangerous and terrifying
With the help of loving caregivers, children can overcome trauma. On the other hand, children who have been looked after have frequently suffered several traumas over a lengthy period (chronic). Trauma is associated with various troublesome behaviors in school, including a lack of emotional control, poor organizational and planning abilities, problems with working memory, and difficulty starting new activities or transitioning between activities.
Assisting Children Who Have Been Traumatized
The Australian Childhood Foundation (2006) created a framework for assisting young people who have experienced school-related trauma. The acronym PRACTICE is used in this framework. The school should strive for
- provide children with very predictable routines
- assist youngsters in developing relationships with peers and adults who are role models
- consistently supportive
- maintain children's calm
- increase children's memory and cognitive skills
- enhance children's behavior
- assist children in shaping their internal emotional reactions
Predictability
Traumatized children perceive changes in routines and their environment as a potential threat.
Strategies
- create a predictable and familiar setting
- establish a consistent routine of activity that traumatized children will recognize as familiar over time
- always prepare a traumatized child for what is to come
- develop a supportive pattern of one-on-one conversation with traumatized youngsters in which the present and short-term future are explained
- be especially mindful during times of transformation.
- use timelines that traumatized children may understand daily and weekly
- create a visual timetable for younger children that they may carry with them or keep on their desks
Reactive
Traumatized youngsters frequently struggle to remember and implement rules and punishments. In addition, traumatized children's demanding behavior can elicit emotions from others, exacerbating stress and disengagement. Therefore, understanding the reason and intent of the behavior is essential for responding to traumatized youngsters.
Strategies
- understand the behavior's purpose in how children deal with and manage stress or change at school
- use low-stress opportunities to reinforce rules constantly
- sanction misbehavior without rejecting the child
- track, record, and acknowledge when children follow the rules
- after an issue has been resolved, return to the traumatized youngster and discuss it with him/her again in a positive manner to reinforce the rules
Focused
Children that have been traumatized are not sensitized (in touch with) how they feel because
- they have a limited vocabulary of feelings that they can describe and express
- their responses are reflexive (from the primitive limbic area of the brain) rather than thoughtful and planned (controlled by their brain cortex)
- they transfer the emotional reaction from a previous traumatic experience into a current situation without being aware of it
Approaches:
- assist traumatized youngsters in developing a lexicon for feelings
- identify approaches to assist traumatized youngsters in naming and understanding their feelings
- develop methods for important school personnel to be aware of and track children's feelings regularly
- play feelings bingo with children. This game enables youngsters to recognize and label their emotions. Each pupil is handed a bingo sheet on which they circle their feelings that day
Networking
Traumatized youngsters frequently feel alienated from their sensations, memories, and sense of self because
- they are accustomed to having their feelings neglected
- they spend a lot of time feeling anxious or overwhelmed, which lowers their brain's capacity to interpret events
- their recall of experiences is unstable
- their relationship experience has been terrible
Approaches:
- allow important school personnel to regularly report how youngsters appear to feel
- assist traumatized youngsters in receiving validation for their feelings, memories, and thoughts
- look for ways to help children see relationships as consistent across time
Translating
Trauma disrupts children's remembering capacity. As a result, they feel disconnected from their past and present, making it difficult to think about the future.
Strategies
- provide regular opportunities for children to reflect on what they have done during the day or week
- assist children in writing/telling real-life stories that include them
- use a variety of techniques to record children's memories and experiences
- build stories with children that project them into the future with qualities that they are aware of in the present
Including
Because of their trauma, traumatized children have weak internal working models for developing, maintaining, comprehending, and being in relationships with their peers.
- they have frequently not had positive relationships with peers
- they may find it difficult to tolerate the sentiments of others and thus do not know how to respond
- they frequently engage in unhelpful behavior to engage with peers because they do not know how to engage appropriately
Strategies
- provide opportunities for children to join groups based on shared interests rather than social skills
- involve children in cooperative rather than competitive games
- role model positive social exchanges with children
- support and value relationships as part of normal school activities.
Relaxing
Children who have been traumatized are constantly under stress. They perceive the unfamiliar as dangerous. They have little comprehension and experience with the concept of quiet and no idea how to calm themselves down.
Strategies
- incorporate regular opportunities for relaxing into your daily routine
- use music and other comparable activities to assist children in understanding how these might modify their feelings
- emphasize physical activities that assist children in relaxing their bodies and minds
- be conscious of your stress levels and use ways to keep yourself calm and resourced to prevent unwittingly exacerbating situations with traumatized young people
- create and use a checklist to help youngsters find and recall tactics that they know will help them relax
Interesting
Because traumatized children lack internal working models for relating to adults,
- they have experienced experiences with adults who did not understand or address their needs
- previous connections with adults felt unpredictable
- adults have mistreated them in the past
- they are confused about how to exert control or influence over adult behavior or communication
Strategies
- engage in regular and repetitive interactions that communicate continuity no matter what
- communicate to children how trust, caring, and support are tied to each other
- develop and sustain consistent, engaging techniques across time and across different school settings
Introduction to Loss and Its Consequences
CLA has frequently experienced loss before being cared for due to bad relationships with their caregivers and the terrible circumstances in which they reside. For example, they may have regularly felt abandoned and worried that they would never see their caregiver again. Alternatively, the youngster may have had uneven care and suffered loss and despair when their needs were not addressed.
Even if the child's bond to their birth parent was insecure or disorganized, being put into care marks a further loss for them. Even if their experiences are far from ideal, the youngster loses everything that is known to them. In foster care, instability leads to further loss experiences. As a result, CLA frequently suffers repeated losses.
People experiencing loss or grief, according to Kubler-Ross (1969), go through stages. The stages are as follows:
- disbelief and shock
- anger
- bargaining
- despair and sadness
- acceptance and comprehension
Each person will progress through the stages at their own pace and in their own order.
Helping young people cope with loss and sadness
- discuss the loss. This allows youngsters to talk about it as well
- inquire about how children perceive loss and measure their bodily and emotional reactions
- stick to school routines since they bring consistency and security
- be patient when listening. Remember that everyone is different and will grieve in their own way and at their own pace
- be prepared to talk about the loss a lot. Children should be encouraged to talk about, act out, or express their feelings about the loss, as well as other changes that have occurred in their lives due to the failure, through writing or art
- provide crucial information about the loss to youngsters at an appropriate developmental stage. Tell no lies or half-truths
- assist youngsters in understanding their loss and intervene to dispel misconceptions regarding the event's cause, ensuring that they do not blame themselves for the circumstance
- assist the child in creating memories, such as using scrapbooks to recognize people who have been important to them
- provide a model of healthy mourning by being open about times when you have experienced sadness and grief
- take care of yourself, so you can assist the children and adolescents in your care - Recognize that it will take time to mourn and that recovery from loss is a process that occurs over months and years
- allow for breaks
- children who have had many losses will require long-term support. Therefore, make an effort to build multiple support mechanisms.