Coaching of Emotion

This section presents the fundamentals of Emotion Coaching as a means of promoting and maintaining the emotional and behavioral wellness of children and younger people.

Young individuals who struggle to self-regulate and control their stress responses might benefit from the communication method known as "emotion coaching." It was first established by psychologist John Gottman in the USA and is now gaining popularity in the UK as a productive technique to promote mental health and wellness in educational settings.

With the assistance of Emotion Coaching UK, Achievement for All has created a coaching curriculum that is intended to help schools and settings integrate Emotion Coaching into their daily operations.

Gottman found that children who develop emotionally and socially well have parents who support their children's behavior. To learn how to behave with children and young people when they struggle to control their emotional responses, he conducted research to identify the precise traits of adult responses that promote emotional health in children. He developed the idea of "emotion coaching" as a behavior approach that can be learned by parents and anyone who interacts with children and young people. Since then, a variety of child-related professions have employed this method in the school setting.

It takes practice to master the straightforward yet extremely complex co-regulation technique known as "emotion coaching," which works best when all adults who contact kids—from top leadership teams to school custodians—are educated in it. To learn more about how Achievement for All can assist you in implementing Emotion Coaching practices in your school to encourage better social interaction and behavior, get in touch with us. In addition, you may discover research and case studies on the websites of organizations like Emotion Coaching UK and the [Attachment Research Community (ARC)]https://the-arc.org.uk that are developing an evidence basis to promote increased knowledge and application of the technique.

According to research, kids who were emotionally coached:

• possess more emotional stability
• greater resiliency
• higher academic achievement
• greater popularity
• have fewer behavioral issues
• have fewer contagious illnesses

Bath Spa University conducted the study in schools and discovered that Emotion Coaching has the following effects:

• fewer exclusions
• fewer callouts to deal with a disturbance in the classroom
• the ratio of incentives to penalties was better

The three main conclusions of the study by Bath Spa University are:

• adults who receive emotional coaching are better equipped to relate to kids under pressure
• adults found challenging circumstances to be less stressful and draining
• emotion coaching looked after children's self-awareness of their emotions and cultivates nourishing interactions

An Overview of the 4 Types of Parents

4 type of parents were identified by Gottman and the impact they have on children.

Dismissing Parent

The Dismissing Parent disengages from, mocks, or controls any unpleasant emotions; feels uncertain and afraid of feeling out of control; utilizes diversionary tactics; believes that emotions are toxic and harmful; substitutes the passing of time for problem-solving.

Effects on the child: Children come to believe that something is wrong with them, are unable to control their emotions, and believe that what they are feeling is odd, inappropriate, or improper.

Disapproving Parent

The Disapproving Parent is comparable to the dismissing parent but is more critical, judgmental, controlling, and authoritarian. They are also too focused on discipline and oddly indifferent to a child's emotional expression.

Effects on the child: Similar to the negative impact of Dismissing Parenting methods

Laissez-Faire Parent

The Laissez-Faire Parent is endlessly indulgent, provides little to no direction regarding problem-solving or understanding emotions; does not impose any rules or restrictions on behavior; supports "riding out" of emotions until they are out of the way and out of sight.

Effects on the child: Children who experience these effects find it challenging to focus, make friends, manage their emotions in a healthy way.

Emotion Coach

Perhaps since it isn't negative and kids didn't fully understand what made their parents so "wonderful," the fourth and final "kind" of parents defined by Dr. Gottman is not a stereotype that is often used. When you reflect on memories of your own childhood, you might recognize some of the techniques used by your parents when you felt the closest to them—when you felt like they could relate to you and were truly understood. This "good" parent is what Dr. Gottman refers to as "The Emotion Coach."

The Five Crucial Steps in Emotional Coaching

Step 1: Think About Feelings

Be conscious of your own feelings as well as those of the kid:

• pay attention to your own emotions, such as happiness, sadness, or anger
• understand that emotions are a normal and valuable part of life
• pay attention to your child's emotions and learn how your child expresses them
• look out for changes in facial expressions, body language, posture, and tone of voice

Step 2: Make a Connection with the Youngster

Make the most of emotional possibilities to connect:

• pay great attention to the child's emotions
• aim not to minimize or ignore them; -view sensitive situations as teaching opportunities
• recognize feelings and encourage the kid to express them
• give direction before feelings get too intense and the youngster misbehaves

Step 3: Pay Attention to the Kid

Respect the child's feelings by giving them your complete attention while you listen:

• show the kid that you understand what he or she is experiencing 
• show the kid that you understand what he or she is experiencing and treat the child's emotions seriously
• don't judge or criticize the child's feelings

Step 4: Label Your Feelings

Aid the kid in recognizing and naming emotions:

• name the emotions the kid is feeling instead of telling them how they should feel
• set a positive example by describing your own emotions and talking about them
• assist the youngster in developing a vocabulary for various emotions
• correct misbehaving children by focusing on their actions rather than their feelings

Step 5 - Find Reasonable Solutions

Together, look for problem-solving strategies:

• correct misbehaving children by focusing on their actions rather than their feelings
• when youngsters misbehave, assist them in recognizing their emotions and in articulating why their actions were improper
• encourage emotional expressiveness while establishing clear boundaries for behavior
• encourage kids to consider potential solutions
• avoid setting yourself up for disappointment by not expecting too much too quickly
  -be prepared to support the kid through any potentially challenging situations by being aware of them in advance
• create scenarios where the youngster may explore without always hearing "don'ts"
• catch the youngster performing a lot of things properly and give them praise
• make activities as enjoyable as you can, such as cleaning up along with a small child